"Whenever we drive past a graveyard my dad says, 'Do you know why I can’t be buried there?' And we all say, 'Why not?' And he says, 'Because I’m not dead yet!'”
Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always "russian" around.
why is the water wet? coz the seaweed
ReplyDeleteWhy do cows not have hooves?
ReplyDeleteBecause they Lac-toes
After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”
ReplyDelete“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.
“I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.
who do you call when u break your toe???
ReplyDeletethe TOE truck. :)
I just went camping
ReplyDeleteIt was in-tents
What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down?
ReplyDeleteIt gets toad away
How do all the oceans say hello to each other?
ReplyDeleteThey wave
I get your drift
DeletePatient: the problem is that obesity runs in our family
ReplyDeleteDoctor: No the problem is that no one runs in our family
hahahahahahaha
DeleteWhat do you call fake noodles? an impasta! (imposter)
ReplyDeleteMy friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face
ReplyDeleteLOL
Deletesomething i would do ;)
DeleteQ: why did the mushroom go the party
ReplyDeleteA: because he was fungi
What did the cleaning agent say to the mold, grease and grime?
ReplyDeleteDie you scrum
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
ReplyDeleteA gummy bear
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
ReplyDeleteNacho cheese!
What kind of bagel can fly?
ReplyDeleteA plain bagel
"Whenever we drive past a graveyard my dad says, 'Do you know why I can’t be buried there?' And we all say, 'Why not?' And he says, 'Because I’m not dead yet!'”
ReplyDeletewhy did the rooster cross the road?
ReplyDeleteTo prove it wasn't a chicken
what did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
ReplyDelete"supplies"
Wing propellers
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan
Im sorry haha
my mum told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so i had to put my foot down
ReplyDeleteEveryone knows that 7 8 9, but why did 7 eat 9? Because you need 3-square meals a day.
ReplyDeletewhat do you call a raindeer with one eye
ReplyDeleteno idea
my mum told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so i had to put my foot down
ReplyDeletea sandwich walks into a bar, and asks for a bag of chips. the bartender says "sorry we don't serve food here"
ReplyDeleteRIP boiling water, you will be mist
ReplyDeleteif there are 36 cows and 28 chickens how many didnt?
ReplyDeleteread it again. if there are 36 cows and 20 ate chickens how many didnt?
16 didnt
how does a monkey make toast?
ReplyDeleteBy putting it in the gorilla : )
Where do saplings go to learn?
ReplyDeleteElementree school
Why do trees make great thieves?
ReplyDeleteSticky fingers.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
ReplyDeleteHe PASTA away!
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the sky tower?
ReplyDeleteA: Of course. The sky tower can't jump
Where do cows go for entertainment?
ReplyDeleteTo the moo-vies!
There's safety in Numbers, but I prefer Deuteronomy
ReplyDeleteWhy are fire engines red?
ReplyDeleteBecause they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always "russian" around.
(Thanks, Siri...)
Why do ghosts love elevators?
ReplyDeleteBecause they lift their spirits!
- weiduoliya
what occurs once in a minute twice in a moment and never in a thousand years
ReplyDeleteYou: Teacher
ReplyDeleteTeacher:yes
You: would you punish me for something i didn't do
Teacher:of course not
You: i didn't do my homework
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
ReplyDeleteWhat's brown and sticky...
ReplyDeleteA stick
How many trees can you plant in an empty forest?
ReplyDeleteOne. After that, it’s not empty anymore.
the letter m
ReplyDeletewhat does a house wear
ReplyDeletea dress
What time did the man go to the dentist?
ReplyDeleteTooth hurt-y
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
ReplyDelete-
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
and god said to john come forth and you will have eternal live
ReplyDeletebut john came fifth and won a toaster
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé!!
ReplyDeleteI used to be indecisive now i'm not sure
ReplyDeleteWhy do chicken coops only have two doors?
ReplyDeleteBecause if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
Challenge: only a genius can say these 4 words 4 times really fast without getting tongue twisted
ReplyDeleteeye, yam, stew, peed.
Which country’s capital is the fastest growing?
ReplyDeleteIreland’s.
Every year it’s Dublin